Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
