There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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