i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dicks are not precious.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
