Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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