I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
