hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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