8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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