Already got asked if we're dating
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
