i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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