You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
