God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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