Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
