dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
