When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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