you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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