is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
