Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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