The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
