shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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