need another drink. this is the easiest way
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
