i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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