you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
