i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
