Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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