walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
