Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Randomize
