I have demons in me.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
