Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
