so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
