i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
