Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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