I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
