i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
