so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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