its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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