So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
