We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
