I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
