I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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