Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
