Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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