What a fucking waste of an outfit
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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