Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
