I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
