I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
