i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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