the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
do nipples grow back?
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