Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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