saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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