The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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